Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder!

Which type of Medical Student are you? I am not going to tell you which type I am at this moment

Well, not really Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), but close to one. Yes, life as a medical student is traumatic! Today I have teaching sessions with both Prof. Latiff and Prof. Rashid. If you do not know them yet, let me introduce them to you. Prof. Dr. Abdul Latiff Mohamed [MD(UKM), MRCP(UK), PhD(Cardiology)(Leeds)] is the Dean of the Faculty of Medicine of my college while Prof. Dr. Abdul Rashid Abdul Rahman [MBChB, PhD, MRCP(Ireland), MRCP(UK), FRCP(Ireland), FRCP(Edinburg), FNHAM] is the Chairperson of our Malaysia Hypertension CPG. Prof. Rashid is also known as Prof. ARAR among the students. Having met them back in my 3rd year, I know how 'mind-blasting' the teaching sessions with these two respectable professors can be. They are both very stern and they really expect a lot from us. So, today I was supposed to do a presentation on the Management of Chronic Renal Failure to Prof. Latiff in the afternoon during lunch time.

Prof. Latiff is excellent in making us understand the full process of a patient's condition and his main intention is to make sure that we treat the patient instead of the disease. I have prepared extremely hard so as to present well to the class and I am very satisfied with my performance today. Even though we could see that Prof. Latiff was not in good mood at the beginning of the day, it was indeed a relief to finally end the session seeing him smiling. All my hard work has indeed paid off. Phew, one big obstacle cleared and now for the other one - Prof. ARAR.

The mention of his name itself causes vibration (a term used by Prof. Hatta) or shivering down the spine among us, students. We were supposed to have Patient Management Diary (PMD) with him but it will be conducted like a Bedside Teaching session with him. My previous experience with him had not been a good one as I can vividly recall how a friend of mine cried after a case presentation session with him back in Year 3. But please do not get me wrong, Prof. ARAR is a very good and kind-hearted person, very much respected among the students, but he is just very stern towards the students during the class - BST especially.

So, having been in Internal Medicine for only the second week, this is the first time that we are having Prof. ARAR for PMD session in the 5th year. So we were in the seminar room of one of the wards in Hospital Serdang and I remember I was complaining about the faulty air-conditioner when I saw him approaching the room. The sight of him was enough to make me stand rooted to the spot. Even the lights on the ceiling tend to dim ominously at the sight of him. I started perspiring.

Me: Prof, the air-conditioner is faulty.

ARAR: Can't we use this room? (indicating to another seminar room)

Me: No, Sir. The nurses need to use the room at 2PM.

(Prof. ARAR handed me his expensive-looking bag)

ARAR: Come, let's go to the ward.

At that time, none of us could believe our ears. What? Ward round with Prof. ARAR? Goodness, we are doomed for sure! I do not think any of my friends who were in charge of the ward know all the cases well enough to present them to Prof. ARAR!

One of the distinctive style that Prof. ARAR has is that he expects the students to volunteer all the time. For example, when he needed someone to conduct a physical examination on the patient today, he would ask:

"So who wants to do the physical examination?"

Silence.

"Who. Wants. To. Do. The. Physical. Examination?" (higher tone)

Uncomfortable silence. Students started exchanging nervous looks at each other. But none would make eye contact with Prof. ARAR.

"I. SAID. WHO. WANTS. TO. DO. THE. PHYSICAL. EXAMINATION?" (ominously-life-threatening tone)

It was at this moment that we noted the danger sign. It was as if we were having a ticking bomb that would explode if we do not defuse it immediately. It was at this moment that somebody would raise his/her hand to volunteer to do the task. Oh, thank goodness, bless the person who volunteered. On average, none would volunteer at the first time of asking. It was not because all of us were not confident in performing physical examination, it was just that we were all too intimidated with Prof. ARAR breathing down our necks!

As usual, Prof. ARAR's session is really beneficial as we learned a lot from him despite getting all the scoldings. All he wants is that we become really competent junior housemen. He told us today that he was very disappointed with the amount of failures among our seniors and that he would like to conduct teaching sessions everyday if he's free. But since, he's having meetings everyday... But I have to admit that I have thought block every time he stared at me. If Prof. ARAR were to ask me a question without looking at me, I think I would at least be able to give a proper answer. But if he were to look at me with that unforgettable gaze from his eyes, I would stammer and started experiencing profuse sweating as though I am expecting an angina.

I remember how I got mixed up between Murphy's Sign and Rovsing's Sign during the class today. It is such a simple thing but the stress from the look of his eyes were enough to send my neurotransmitters going haywire. Oh, God. Despite that, I really enjoyed his session, I sat right in front of him today - I knew I was inviting him to keep questioning me by sitting there, but I just wanted to try out and fight that anxious feeling churning inside me. After all, this is a good training for my exam in Semester 10. What if I get Prof. ARAR for my examiner then? Better die now than later.

Nevertheless, there were a few quotes from Prof. ARAR that I feel worth mentioning in this blog for my future references:

"You are supposed to shake the ward so that good medicine is practiced! Give good suggestions to the staff!"

"You must think like a detective, argue like a lawyer! But your heart must be good."

"Year 1 is for you to learn the basic knowledge, Year 2 is for you to understand the knowledge learned, Year 3 is for you to apply the knowledge that you have learned and understood, Year 4 is for you to perform analytical thinking through Evidence-Based Medicine, and Year 5 is for you to synthesize and evaluate the management given to the patient."

Dear, Prof. ARAR, I have been trying my very best to meet your expectation as well as Prof. Latiff's so that I can be the Painfully Enthusiastic medical student as shown at the picture above. Tomorrow, I am having a class with Datuk Dr. Nor Izham Aziz, a Cardiologist from Putra Specialist Hospital, Melaka. I had few sessions with him back in Year 3 and I really like him. I will be presenting Infective Endocarditis case with him tomorrow and I really wanna make sure that I do my very best again. It has been a really hectic week for me. I did not have the chance to visit the gym today, I did visit the gym yesterday. I am really looking forward to class finishing early with Datuk Izham tomorrow so that I can continue building my abs and shaping up my body. A medical student needs to look good as well, you know. Furthermore, there will be Ladies' Session tomorrow, you know. Haha, just joking!